My thoughts:
- When is it appropriate to start calling coworkers by their first name instead of their surname? Is it ever appropriate to call a manager/boss by their first name, even if they ask?
I would generally use Ms or Mr during the hiring process and a first meeting in a work setting after I was hired. After someone introduced themself in person by a first name, I would use the first name. With virtual introductions, it would do the same. If someone did not introduce themself by first name, I might just ask someone else in the work place how that person prefers to be addressed of if there is a common practice at the company/setting. Typically there will be someone who shows you around on the first day (in an office setting). I have no clue how someone is hired, on-boarded, and begins work in a virtual environment.
It would be awkward for me to refer to someone as Ms or Mr beyond initially meeting them if I was working in the same office. Exceptions for me have been company executives, CEO/President - my bosses boss & folks higher up, which at at three different employers years ago over my career, I always addressed as Mr when speaking directly to him, which was not often. I often referred to these folks by first name when speaking with co-workers and my own boss though, as others in the office did. One of these exceptions was working in a different country and with government or elected officials.
While you may be a subordinate employee to a manager - boss, using a surname for an immediate boss would seem not too common to me after an introduction or first day of work. Even when I was in college working summer jobs, I used first names with my bosses, who were as old as or older than my parents. Although thinking about this question, I recall first jobs of mine when I was teenager working as a high school student, I did address all bosses (superiors) as Ms or Mr. It would seem graduating from high school garnered some status of being old enough to use first names in the workplace from my own experience.
A longtime friend of mine, who I grew up with in northeast Indiana, worked in a southern state early in his career. He did comment about how people in the office, including colleagues, referred to each other as Ms Hicks, Ms Johnson, etc. He just mentioned that is was different, not good or bad, something that stood out to him in his work setting enough to share with me. It was not something that he was familiar with from his work experiences in the Midwest.
- If someone is pronouncing your name incorrectly, or abbreviating it (such as Chris from Christopher) should one correct them?
Yes, if it matters to you.
- Lastly, how does one address someone with their Doctorate in the engineering field?
Similar to above, I would address as Dr. until I met in person. If this person was a colleague/co-worker, then I would likely use a first name afterwards, unless others in the office used Dr. If this person was a consultant or someone not in the same office/company, I might use Dr. until that person just said "please, my name is Susan". Exception for me was when teaching, I used Dr. when speaking with Deans & above level administrators, I did not use Dr. for other faculty colleagues or department chair [I do not have a Dr].
Habits ... I have seen faculty members I had in college, many years after I graduated, such as just running into them at a conference or alumni event, saying anything other than Dr. has never felt comfortable.
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David Devine P.E., P.S., M.ASCE
Fort Wayne IN
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Original Message:
Sent: 01-18-2021 08:31 AM
From: Daniel Bressler
Subject: Addressing Your Name
I'm looking for people's opinions and thoughts about addressing other people in the workplace.
- When is it appropriate to start calling coworkers by their first name instead of their surname? Is it ever appropriate to call a manager/boss by their first name, even if they ask?
- If someone is pronouncing your name incorrectly, or abbreviating it (such as Chris from Christopher) should one correct them?
- Lastly, how does one address someone with their Doctorate in the engineering field?
Looking forward to learning from other peoples ideas and options,
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Daniel Bressler EIT, A.M.ASCE
Project Engineer
Brooklyn NY
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