"So, would I agree today to a mentoring relationship with a woman? Yes, I would. The woman would have to seek me out as a mentor. I would probably play down the personal relationship side of mentoring a bit." I appreciate the beginning of this thread. The originator is to be recognized for starting a difficult conversation, out loud.
It reminds me, by comparison, of the time when the ASCE Committee on Women and Diversity in Civil Engineering supported the somewhat, initially startling workshop
"White Men Need Diversity Too!" An online current source is noted.[1]
Some of my immediate concerns as we seek to move forward to undo generations of criminal neglect and abuse of women within the workplaces described within the NAS report include:
a. Forming Academic
"Hallway Police" to issue
"Harassment Citations" based on accusations without proper hearings.
b. Competent professors and other such male advisors avoiding women needing advice and guidance for fear of being misunderstood.
c. Women in academia now avoiding competent professors and other such male advisors for fear of being misinterpreted as wanting more than just academic advice.
d. Allowing the aberrant, criminal behavior of presently unindicted men within current academic engineering institutions to affect and infect the collegial environment for the entire academic community.
The very last thing I wish to see occur is the posted remark above, which I understand, that a respected professor would stay arms-length from a potential woman within academia needing advice until she takes the first, and perhaps all of
"The next steps." That may be protection against litigation but it is NOT effective relationship building.
We can't allow the tenure system to protect criminals!
Of course, I may be wrong.
[1]Source:
https://www.diversitybestpractices.com/sites/diversitybestpractices.com/files/attachments/2017/07/engagingwhitemeninsightpaper.pdf downloaded 01JUN2019
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William M. Hayden Jr., Ph.D., P.E., CMQ/OE, F.ASCE
Buffalo, N.Y.
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." -- George Eliot 1819 - 1880
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Original Message:
Sent: 05-25-2019 00:03
From: Neil Kazen
Subject: Men Mentoring Women in the #MeToo Era?
Even though it might be a high risk to many people, and some men have been falsely accused, I still mentor several women. Engineers, with hardly any worry about such risk, given that all meetings with mentees (both men and women) take place in public places, usually within a group. All professional talk; no mixing between professional and personal life. Offering caring advice but no personal promises. And of course, no vulgar or sexual jokes if any sort. Offering encouragement but no personal attachment. That has always been the case, regardless of gender, as a matter of principle to protect the young impressionable mentee from an unnecessary personal attachment, which can end up being a burden on my conscious.
I think these are general principles to be applied whether there's Me Too movement, or not.
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Neil Kazen, M.Eng., M.Sc., P.Eng.
FASCE, FCPCI, FEC,
Retired Structural Engineering Manager, Transportation Division, SNC-Lavalin
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Original Message:
Sent: 05-24-2019 12:53
From: Bevin Beaudet
Subject: Men Mentoring Women in the #MeToo Era?
There's been some great posts here on the importance of ending harassment and gender bias in the workplace, and on mentoring. This topic combines both of these topics. I've attached an article from Forbes which states that men are now avoiding mentorship of women due to concern about potential repercussions of the #MeToo movement. After reading I asked myself: would I mentor a woman in today's divisive society?
Many of my former mentees, and some of my most successful ones, were women. They always sought me out. The women were really thirsty for career guidance, much of which was learning on how to succeed in a male dominated profession. A lot of my advice closely paralleled items in the article which suggests how women can learn important leadership lessons on their own! I have always been respectful to women and men in all aspects of my life. I was fortunate to be able to build strong, diverse and closely knit teams around me. I'll admit to occasional fun filled and humorous (sometimes a bit raucous) conversations with my team. Nothing approaching harassment or anything personally derogatory or suggestive. Often the repartee was directed at me as the Director. I invited and enjoyed this. This approach was helpful when things were stressful for the team. I strongly believe that humor and not taking oneself too seriously is a major component of leadership. Today I I might avoid some of those conversations, and in a way it's an unfortunate unintended consequence of #MeToo.
So would I agree today to a mentoring relationship with a woman? Yes, I would. The woman would have to seek me out as a mentor. I would probably play down the personal relationship side of mentoring a bit. But I believe I could help her achieve her goals with the kind of mutual respect that today's society demands, and that I have always subscribed to. I'm curious about the reactions of others to this question.
Men Don't Want To Mentor Women, Study Says: How Women Can Get The Career Advice They Need
| Forbes |
remove preview |
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| Men Don't Want To Mentor Women, Study Says: How Women Can Get The Career Advice They Need |
| New research by LeanIn.org finds that 60% of male managers are uncomfortable mentoring or working with women. That is up fourteen percentage points from last year when I wrote about what women should do as men avoid them in the #MeToo era. |
| View this on Forbes > |
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Bevin Beaudet P.E.,M.ASCE
President/Owner
Bevin A. Beaudet, P.E., LLC.
West Palm Beach FL
(561)373-4442
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