Hey Samantha. Your question is so important (not just to you personally but to the industry as a whole) and something a lot of other moms have faced. I find that each mom approaches it differently based on what works for their family but I'm happy to share some things that work for me. For reference, I'm a full-time consulting engineer in the US, managing projects and people, in charge of business development activities and project deliveries. The company I work for is rapidly expanding and I've been a part of that entire growth so it's been a wild ride. I also travel at least once a week for work but sometimes I'm gone for 3-5 days in a row.
To effectively manage my time I keep my child on a schedule, send them to daycare full time, and use a personal and family calendar to schedule basically everything (including house cleaning). I wake before my child does and go to bed after they do to get things done. I find routines are good not just for child development but also for you to better manage time and know what to expect. When I'm at work I am 100% at work (barring any emergencies) and when I'm at home I am 100% focused on my family (also barring legitimate emergencies - somebody's failure to plan does not constitute an emergency for me). For work I have open, honest conversations with my employer and have very strict boundaries that are in place. My partner is also very involved with our child and I leave him to take care of our child when I need to travel for work, etc. We also split the housework. However, most of the mental and emotional work load is still on me. I make this easier on me by setting and communicating deadlines and placing them on the family calendar (such as "Buy MIL Christmas present") and assigning them to my spouse. I also make sure to schedule "me" time where I'm alone and have no responsibilities. It is important that you rest and recharge.
One of my best friends has an 11 month old and she's also a full-time working mom. She does not travel as much as I do and her partner is not very involved in the house or the child rearing. It works for them but she's had to cut back a lot at work and I can tell she is very tired.
My sister (5 year old and 18 month old) is a full-time working mom now but she took 3 years off to care for her oldest child. She is not progressing in her career quickly and does not seek a lot of advancement opportunities currently. She did not have a hard time re-entering her career after her break but she was already a licensed PE which may have helped.
Another friend quit working completely when she was pregnant with her 2nd child and has no plans to re-enter the engineering field. She currently has 4 children and loves being a SAHM.
Another friend works 24 hours a week (11 year old, 9 year old, 3 year old). She's always worked 20-30 hours a week since her first was born and took 3 years off when her last child was born. She just recently re-entered the workforce at 24 hours a week with the same company she worked for before she left. She is not a licensed PE but she works in environmental permitting which is a little different than design from my experience. The thing I can tell you from watching her is to ensure that you are very open and communicative with your employer, set and enforce boundaries, and don't be afraid to move jobs if your employer does not respect your boundaries (she had to do that as she was working 45+ hours a week but only supposed to be working 28 with one of her previous employers).
I would not have made any different choices if I had another go; however, I did choose to change companies about a year before getting pregnant because the company I previously worked for did not respect personal time and I would have never had children if I was still working there. My career is important to me and my partner and I had multiple very open discussions on what sacrifices we were each willing to make, what tradeoffs we were willing to allow, etc before having children.
I think you've gotten some great advice and hopefully some of it will help you find what works best for your family. Please feel free to reach out if you'd like to talk!
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Jennifer Sloan Ziegler Ph.D., P.E., M.ASCE
Ridgeland MS
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Original Message:
Sent: 09-19-2022 05:37 PM
From: Samantha Strauss
Subject: If I knew then what I know now…
Hey wonderful people! How do you manage your time effectively? If you could look back on things what would you do differently?
I have a 11 month old baby and Id love to hear from other moms who made Engineering work. What would you have done differently from schooling to career choices if you had another go? Any part time career paths for moms?
thank you 🙏 😊 thank you.
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Samantha Strauss S.M.ASCE
Wendell MA
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