To Dwayne's point about relationships I had a professor junior year for highway design who told us at the beginning of the semester that once we began practicing as engineers that our day would be 10% engineering and 90% dealing with people. Truest statement ever. Like everything in life it is all about relationships and people. It would be nice to have some classes added to engineering programs that help to learn the 'soft skills', but then the it would be almost impossible to complete your B.S. in four years.
Thank you,
James
James R. Wilson, P.E.
Engineer
Engineering & Construction Department
CHARLESTON WATER SYSTEM
O: 843-727-6878
C: 843-696-8352
wilsonjr@...
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For me, the technical stuff has always been easy. I am pretty good in a large group being the center of attention, presenting something of interest. I never suffered the need to visualize the crown with clown noses on or something else. After over 25 years in the field of Civil Engineering, and starting my own company the biggest challenge for me is still one on one interactions with new people.
I still have problems with creating relationships with new people. I think it is because when I am with a small group the interactions are more personal, and less technical.
For example, once in a meeting, we went through the "How are you?" stage, and the person I was interacting with, really was having a bad week, and shared more than made me comfortable. I did not know how to turn the conversation away from the personal stuff, to the business at hand. I am sure that in that conversation, I turned someone that could have become a very strong advocate for my work into a disinterested agency employee. Even I could learn that this "Sheldon-like" behavior was unacceptable, and never repeated the phrase or concept "Now that we have finished with the preliminary good days, can we get to the real reason I am here."
Based on the reaction of the person I was with, I knew that I had stepped in it up to my waist. I never repeated something like that. I wonder how we can help others like me not have to go through the agony of losing a potential advocate, and friend over a single sentence. Is this something teachable in a way that does not involve hitting us on the top of a head with a 2x4 every time we do something like this?
I am sure that Partrick Lencioni would say that I am not very SMART. But I think he would say that working on listening and understanding feelings would go a long way to making me SMARTer. Maybe we need to add some practical psychology to the engineering curriculum so that engineers learn that technology and mathematics are not as important as relationships.
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Dwayne Culp, Ph.D., P.E., P.Eng, M.ASCE
Culp Engineering, LLC
Richmond TX
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