There is a nuance on boundary-setting that I don't think has been touched on here. Setting priorities is really important, but I also think it is important to push back on tasks that don't need to be done, or "work" you are expected to do at work that doesn't actually progress the company's goals (what I call non-promotable work).
Example: A young engineer was initially asked by the head of their office branch to do a non-promotable task - like take and distribute meeting notes, order office supplies, or plan a charity golf tournament - the first month of work. Wanting to make a good impression and be a team player, the engineer agreed. Now, 5 years later, the engineer is still expected to do this, even though from an ROI standpoint it makes little sense. It's just assumed that the engineer will take care of it.
In my own anecdotal experience (and also in a lot of research I've read on women in the workforce), a lot of times this type of non-promotable work is taken on by women. Statistically speaking, women are more likely to have been raised to be people-pleasers, to put others' needs above their own. Even when I had a female boss, I found myself being asked to do things like "water the office plants" or "pick up a card" for everyone in the office to sign to congratulate when someone won an award. I was almost always the first person asked to do these things (I was the only full-time woman in my branch office the first time I was asked). At the time, I didn't feel like I had a choice to say no due to power dynamics (at the time I was also the most junior employee), although I know now that I always have a choice.
Regardless of the time it takes, minutes spent doing non-promotable work add up over the course of a career. If I spend time doing low-priority tasks or non-promotable work during that day, then I end up working late on project work.
For me, that resulted in feeling that I needed better time management skills, when in fact it was a boundary issue. I didn't want to say no, and so I said yes to too much and nearly burned myself out. In hindsight, I've realized that not wanting to say no came down to some sort of fear. Fear of being rejected or fired, fear of damaging a relationship, or fear of missing out on an opportunity.
I think that in general, women's boundaries get pushed on more often than men's, and younger engineers' boundaries get pushed on more than experienced engineers. Additionally, this can be very challenging as a manager - there is a fine line between coaching someone to help them move in the right direction (which is what managers should be doing) and being a bottleneck in the process because everyone feels like they have to come to you for sign-off on every little thing.
Here are a couple of things that have worked for me:
- When asked to take on any new task, I do not say yes immediately. Instead, I ask questions to fully understand the scope of what I would be saying "yes" too, understand how it affects my own goals or the company's goals for the year and then ask for a short period of time to think about it. Now, you might not always have this luxury - if you're simply assigned a project at work to do, you can't really say "no." But, you can always get in the habit of getting a defined scope and understanding the importance of what you're working on. So, if you already have a ton of work on your plate and your manager says, "I'd like you to take on this new project," instead of saying either: "Are you crazy?" or "Sure", you say "That sounds like an interesting project. I need to understand better how this fits in with my other deadlines and priorities, and what we may need to shift around to make that one work. I am finishing up this previous task you assigned currently, can we plan to talk about this later today (or tomorrow) and see how it fits?"
- Along the same lines, practice saying no, especially to non-promotable tasks. There's never going to be a hard-and-fast-rule here - a lot of it depends on who is asking and what it is - but if it's a task that will take more than a couple of minutes, you could say, "I'd love to help you out, but I really need to stay focused on this project or deadline coming up. Perhaps [name of someone else] could help you."
- If you have a coworker or manager that chronically drops last minute or unreasonable requests on your desk, do not say "yes" without getting clarification on scope and when it needs to be done. It's tempting to many of us to "save the day" by immediately agreeing, but this type of scenario lends itself to mistakes and potential burnout if it becomes a chronic situation. Sure, last-minute changes happen, but if you're seeing it all the time, something needs to change. For me, 9 times out of 10 last-minute requests came down to lack of communication. More frequent check-ins help, even if it's just 5 minutes to make sure everyone is on the same page for priorities and where you are in the entire project (i.e. fully understanding what is left to be done).
- If you are a manager, do not have an open-door policy. You have to block out uninterrupted time to get your own work done. Instead, institute "office hours". Consistently schedule an hour in the morning and/or afternoon when your door is open for drop-in questions (you may need to do both if those you are managing are very inexperienced), or more hours if a major milestone is coming up; the point is these are scheduled times, clearly communicated excepting emergencies.
------------------------------
Stephanie Slocum P.E., M.ASCE
Founder
Engineers Rising LLC
www.engineersrising.com------------------------------