Having attended engineering school when the world of Don Draper and Mad Men was still recent history, some aspects in the working world and profession have changed significantly. Others aspects are still slowly evolving, as we attempt to understand and work collectively with people from different backgrounds and use our diversity to achieve better solutions for the benefit of mankind.
I have spent most of my engineering career trying to ignore some of the differences between people, especially considering that we are more alike than we are different. Like some engineers, sometimes I miss the subtleties of certain social interactions. However, a recent incident has forced me to think about communication patterns and the distance we may have yet to travel within the profession to ensure we use everyone's talents to our benefit. My story follows.
A few months ago at a professional society leadership training workshop, one of the participants woefully described the lack of diversity on their board. During a break he explained they had a woman on their board, but she wanted to quit when her term was up. His astute compatriot noted that while the female board member had a lot of ideas, almost everything she proposed the board turned down, her opinions were not accepted. A few minutes later when the break ended, the facilitator asked a question about a new topic. I raised my hand. The facilitator acknowledged me. But before I could speak, my friend with the board diversity problem started answering; ignoring the fact it was my turn to speak.
Spontaneously every female in the room started laughing. The irony and apparent cluelessness of my friend's action was too much for the women to contain themselves. Clearly every one of the women had experienced this situation. However, almost every male in the room (except for an African-American male) couldn't figure out why part of the room was laughing. Even the facilitator later admitted he did not understand what had happened.
A great teaching moment was lost...
Since then I have been paying more attention to this issue.
At a recent ASCE sustainability workshop, I noticed that the young women and the young non-white male in attendance had self selected the same discussion group. Did they do this because they felt they would be better able to express themselves and be heard? It seemed unlikely that in a room with six tables, with a majority of white males, such a demographic grouping could have occurred totally by chance.
Please don't think our society has not made progress. I certainly believe that we’ve made significant progress. All I have to do is think back and contrast today with my first few years out of school. When one thinks back to the culture of the time, the genesis of the many diversity programs make more sense. Some of my initial experiences and those of my peers seem comically unbelievable in hindsight.
For example, I have been emotionally scarred for life in regards to golf outings. This is due to the annual highway engineers outing that used to have strategically placed bikini draped models working the golf course holes for tips. Fortunately the culture of the golf outing changed shortly after I was hired, but for me, the damage had been done.
At the time, I felt like I was still a foreign exchange student trying to understand and make my way in a different culture, being as respectful as possible. In some cases, I was the first professional female some men had ever encountered. For example, most men today realize that you don't take women for business lunches to restaurants that specialize in noon lingerie shows. I don't think my host was trying to be disrespectful. He actually was taking me out to ask a favor, but seemed kind of clueless as to how to entertain me. He was treating me like he treated everyone else he took out for lunch.
In some cases I found differences in working styles and relationship expectations, based on generational differences. While I was used to hanging in out in guys dorm rooms to work on school projects, I had to realize when I was young that many of the older engineers had never worked with females in school on projects. I quickly learned that at some conferences you never accompany the person who tells you "...I need to pick up a manual/book/schedule in my hotel room..." unless you know them well. It saves a lot of misunderstandings. Sometimes older folks need to understand that a young person's interest and wide-eyed adoration of older person's professional accomplishments may be just hero worshipping or the search for a mentor and should not be assumed to be the entree to an intimate and personal relationship.
Even American born males in the environmental and water resources profession have on occasion taken some heat from less enlightened co-workers about their diverse professional relationships. One of my favorite stories is about a friend who was getting complaints from his boss about too many personal calls. He had at least four female engineers (including me) calling him on a weekly basis about various water resources projects we were all working on. His boss, a highway engineer (those darn highway guys, again), just assumed they were all women he was dating or trying to date. It went so far that when he tried to invite a female engineering client to an ASCE dinner, his boss told him he couldn't use the company funds for his personal socializing. Kind of wonder what kind of guy would consider an ASCE dinner a winning date night...
Much has changed over the course of my career, including the excitement of having a bi-racial President of the United States. We need to hear and acknowledge the different voices from the diverse members of our community.
Very soon ASCE-EWRI we will be offering a trial engagement platform for your use. You’ll receive announcements of this engagement platform soon. Let’s take advantage of this inclusive tool to collaborate to improve our professional practice.
I am proud to be a member of this organization; an organization in which I feel my voice is appreciated and valued. I hope you feel your voice is as valued and appreciated in return.
Karen Kabbes, P.E., D. WRE, EVP SP, M.ASCE